Twenty years ago, there might have still been grounds for debating the pros and cons of spanking. Now the research is in, the brain scans of adults who were spanked can be compared to brain scans of those who were not spanked. You can find all of this stuff online. It's pretty amazing.
The main arguments against these findings can be found on religious forums, where people always bring up the bible quote, "spare the rod, spoil the child". I wonder why they don't use the bible quote that says, "If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother, ... then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders ... They shall say to the elders of his town, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us.' Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death."
We see what the Old Testament says, now let's see what research and observation says:
"Brain scans show structural and biochemical changes that affect social behavior:
• Cell death in the anterior cingulate gyrus affects a child's ability to moderate fear and to empathise. Changes in the brain's pathways affect a child's ability to manage stress and being more prone to being impulsive, aggressive and/or anxious. Long term changes to the adrenaline systems in the brain affect the ability to think clearly. Impairment in the brain stem has been linked to ADHD, depression and impaired attention. It also leads to more aggression and irritability.
• decrease in size of the corpus callosum causing manic shifts in mood states
• reduced amygdala and hippocampus resulting in depression, irritability and hostility; and poor memory function
• affects the GABA system making a child feel unsafe and constantly living in a state of alarm"
Spanking inflicts damage that causes precisely what spanking claims to prevent.
"I was raised with spanking, and I turned out fine". So everyone says flippantly.
But, I sometimes wonder if I might have been an even better person without that spanking and dominance.
What if I was treated in childhood as the rational, curious, and peaceful human being I've always been?
The main thing I recall about getting spanked is my bitterness about the unfairness of being spanked.
I most vividly recall the few times when I was spanked or punished unfairly. That made the biggest impression on me.
The unfairness of lashing out. The meaninglessness of it. The loss of respect it gave me for adults in general.
"Violence (abusive words, threats of violence, or even withdrawal of affection in the form of "time outs") inflicted by their closest relatives and caretakers has a long-lasting and horrifying effect. These children grow up with the idea that, when another person's behavior is displeasing to them, violent acts or words against that person are appropriate ways to deal with feelings of displeasure. In short, members of each adult generation tend to reproduce in their interpersonal relationships, the violence which they experienced in their childhood."
"Aggressive children often become aggressive adults, who often produce more aggressive children, in a cycle that endures generation after generation.
Corporal punishment always figures prominently in the roots of adolescent and adult aggressiveness, especially in those manifestations that take anti-social form, such as delinquency and criminality."
"Mistreatment of children, beginning at infancy, perpetrated by parents and other primary caregivers, is what infects children with the virus of violence.
In much the same way that it interferes with the bonding between child and parent, it stunts the child's ability to become socially integrated with the larger law-abiding community. It handicaps the child with a lifetime supply of anger. It makes every future irritation seem a mortal attack,
every delay of gratification a personal insult. It models for the child no essential problem-solving skills, but instead, selfishness, aggression, rage, tyranny. It makes escape by means of alcohol and drugs appear an option irresistible to many. The worse, and the earlier the mistreatment, the more severe the outcome."
These are all quotes from psychologists who have done work researching the roots of criminal violent behavior.
The complaint will be that these doctors are mostly talking about severely abused children, and that "light spanking" is not the same thing.
But, "light spanking" or "heavy spanking" is only a difference in degree, not a difference in type. Like, we're not talking about full-blown cancer, it's okay to have just a little bit of cancer. A little bit of cancer doesn't really hurt that much.
My question is, "why not try love and reasoning"?
There are all kinds of websites online that are dedicated to raising children without ANY violence or threats.
Peace & Love,
Rick
PS - There is a growing mountain of scientific evidence for avoiding all spanking, even so-called "paddling" or "swatting".
Lots of non-violent parenting groups out there.
